


my little lotus seed

by Cedric_B



Series: I don't want to hide I don't want to shy from you [1]
Category: Mo Dao Zu Shi, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Jiang Cheng Protection Squad, Jiang Cheng centric, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mpreg, Multi, actually a lotta angst and hurt, jiang family feels, slight angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-01-24 14:14:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21339571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cedric_B/pseuds/Cedric_B
Summary: His sister was already crying, as she pulled him in for a tight hug, Wei Ying joining in, the three pulled away after a while, Yanli wiping away her tears, “I’ll see you in two weeks time, I don’t know why I’m crying so much”“It’s because your going to miss your favourite brother obviously” he deadpanned, as Wei Ying argued, “As if, I’m right here” and Jiang Cheng just smiled, “I’m going to miss you both so much”“We’ve got the family here, you just worry about taking care of yourself and your baby alright?” his brother stated//teenage pregnancy + angsty!xicheng + jiang family feels = this fic
Relationships: Jiang Cheng & Jiang Fengmian, Jiang Cheng & Jiang Yanli, Jiang Cheng & Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng & Yu Ziyuan, Jiang Cheng/Lan XiChen, Jiāng Fēngmián/Yú Zǐyuān, Song Lan & Jiang Cheng
Series: I don't want to hide I don't want to shy from you [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1523978
Comments: 23
Kudos: 176





	1. it started with a smile

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is purely concentrated on Jiang Cheng's pregnancy and his family, sorry if I misled you about Jiang Cheng/Lan Xichen. Also i'm procrastinating the shovel talk fic and a university assignment.

The sun was just rising up, as the two lovers awoke much to early for both their liking, Jiang Wangyin grumbled before burrowing into his partner’s chest, much to the older one’s amusement.

“A-Cheng” he reprimanded, though he felt a slight bite at his collarbone, as his hands tightened around his partner’s waist. His lover looked devastatingly tempting, but he knew they had moved just too fast for his liking.

“I need to leave” he murmured to himself, remembering that his own uncle would clearly be awake right now, he felt Jiang WanYin pout, “Can’t you stay for breakfast”

“If I could, I would, but if I don’t leave now, I’ll get in trouble and that’s not good” he stated already getting up and dislodging himself from Jiang Wangyin, the younger pouted even more, before Lan Xichen kissed his brow.

“I would love to stay but if I do, we’ll really get in trouble” he had already put on his pants as Jiang Wangyin nodded, handing him his shirt, Lan Xichen as the older Lan got ready, he couldn’t help but peck his young lover once more,

The usually grumpy purple loving teen complained, “You love me” Xichen teased, and before anything else was said, Lan Xichen tied his ribbon around Jiang Cheng's wrist, the other just stayed silent knowing it was true, the blush on his face after he had finished tying the ribbon had made Xichen chuckle, before they said their goodbyes,

* * *

The youngest of the Yumeng siblings had finished up in the shower, when he was getting prepped to leave for lunch, his mother called him into the lounge, where he was met with Xichen’s Uncle, Lan Qiren. He straightened his back,

“He would like to speak with you, I was wondering if you’d need me” his mother was eyeing Lan Qiren with a particular glint in her eye, one that spoke of a lioness assessing her cub’s in-laws.

“It would please you to know, that Lan Xichen, my dear nephew has gotten accepted into medical school” at the words Jiang WanYin wanted to explode and cheer, but then he remembered the two people in front of him as he cleared his throat,

“Congratulations to you” he replied, trying not to sound too happy, Lan Qiren however nodded though his face was still frowning, “I would be happy as well, except that he was supposed to have dinner last night with myself and the rest of the Lan clan who had appeared to congratulate him”

His mother spoke up then, “I do not like your tone, Qiren what are you trying to suggest” the sharpness of her words, made Qiren bristle, before he looked at Jiang WanYin, 

“He cannot afford to be distracted with something as simple as love, when he goes to medical school, I came here to warn you that you’d be better off breaking up this silly little dream fantasy, what goes on in highschool should stay in highschool, wouldn’t you agree Madame Yu”

Jiang WanYin felt sick, he had known Lan Qiren was against any thing that distracted his nephews from achieving greatness, but he didn’t know that the old man was this cruel.

“I think that’s up to your nephew and my son, and I think you’ve overstayed your welcome” Madame Yu stated warningly, Lan Qiren looked as if he were to argue, before he huffed and turned on his heel leaving.

Jiang WanYin felt his mother’s arms around him, “Don’t you listen to that old man, he’s as old as the fossils collecting dust in your father’s study, I taught you to always do what you want and to fight for it”

The young man nodded, but the worry he could see coming from his mother made him smile weakly before excusing himself, he rushed towards his room. He felt all his insecurities and worries come back full force.

He took a deep breath, as his tears fell, he gave himself a bit of time, before he went on his way to clear his own feelings out of the way, he pushed it back, as his phone rang. “Wei Ying?” he asked coughing as to not let his brother understand what had happened,

“What’s up?”

He agrees to whatever idea Wei Ying was planning, anything as to not wallow in his own self loathing.

* * *

Jiang Wanyin was going to surprise Lan Xichen with a small gift, Wei ying had been invited to attend the Lans family dinner and he had specifically asked that he bring Jiang Cheng with him, 

“I still don’t know why I have to go”

“A-Cheng, we all know you want to go, so stop complaining”

“Yeah, but it’s a dinner for _ your _boyfriend” at that Wei ying just smirks, “and yours” he points out, Jiang Wanyin chokes on air, before Wei ying continues to tease him. As Wei ying got into the driver’s seat, with his brother getting into the other, that’s when the musician noticed the small gift.

“Ooohh, is that for Xichen-ge?” he teased, the other man however scowled with the bright blush on his face, “Shut up and drive” Wei Ying laughs but does as he is told. They get to the Lan’s home in time, though Jiang Cheng feels absolutely dreadful, thinking back to Lan Qiren’s words,

“Hey, you alright?” his brother’s worried voice broke him out of his stupor, “Yeah, let’s go” he gestured as they got out of the car and walked in, Wangji found Wei ying immediately and the two left as Jiang Wanyin shook his head amused, before long he was found by Huaisang who chatted his ear off,

Before long, his fellow classmate disappeared into the crowd, as did he, deciding it was better to just head to Xichen’s room, he was hoping to meet him what he didn’t expect to see was Lan Xichen kissing Meng Yao - his classmate and good friend. 

He froze, he watched as Meng Yao’s hands were in Lan Xichen’s hair, they looked intimate- even enjoying themselves at a point -he threw his gift at the ground, turned and left the way he had come, 

Bumping into Lan Qiren and Wei Ying, the former about to speak to him, he beat him to it, “Consider Lan Xichen and I over” he spat out, walking off as soon as he finished, He didn’t want to be here, not now anyway” 

Wei Ying following him immediately, “A Cheng! A Cheng!” his adopted brother tried to get him to stop, it wasn’t until they had gotten a few blocks away from the Lan’s home, that Jiang Cheng fell into Wei Ying’s arms.

“H-he and Meng Yao were-” he sobbed out, Wei Ying didn’t speak just held his younger brother for a bit, the moment they got home, Wei Ying took him to his room, helping him into his bed and comforting him until Yanli joined them.

The three siblings stayed like that, Yanli on Jiang Wangyin’s left and Wei Ying on his right, they hadn’t done this since they were kids, but it was unspoken, the moment the two boys had snuck in, Yanli had already caught a glimpse of them two, knowing immediately it was a night spent for them three,

It wasn’t until Jiang Wanyin sobs died down that they spoke again, “Are you sure he was kissing Men-” Yanli spoke, however their distraught brother chuckled mirthlessly, “If that wasn’t Meng Yao he was kissing than it must’ve been his twin brother” 

“It just doesn’t make any sense, you two have some-”

“It doesn’t have to make sense, as if Lan Xichen would ever see anything more than just a kid in me, I just” he sniffed again, and he felt both Yanli and Wei Ying tighten their hold on him.

“I just wish he’d have broken up with me properly first, you know, so that I won’t be here crying like a child” he burrowed himself further into his older sister’s arms, who gave Wei Ying a look.

“Well how about you take a shower, and Wei Ying and I will prepare some Lotus Pork and Ribs soup? How about that?”

It took a little more shuffling and Wei Ying pouting for Jiang Wanyin to agree but when he did his siblings jumped up and gave him some space to do so, he headed into the bathroom, taking a gaze at the marks across his skin, they were a mere mockery of whatever Lan Xichen had wanted from him,

He headed to the shower taking as much time as he could, he scrubbed his skin and washed his hair until the hot water ran cold, and even then he thrived on it, he took a breath and cried to himself for a bit, allowing himself to wallow in it, 

What he hadn’t realised though that it wasn’t just the break up that tired him out. It would be two weeks from that day, that he would be in the doctor’s office with his mother on a specialised visit that he would find out he was pregnant.

* * *

His mother had been silent when they had gotten into the car, Jiang Wanyin on the other hand was still holding onto all the pregnancy test and brochures the doctor had gotten him. 

_ What was he going to do, oh god he felt sick _, he waited before he felt his mother’s hand on his, “Sweetie, I’m going to send you to your cousin who lives near Yumeng, alright? You can stay with him, and I’ll deal with everything here”

He still hadn’t spoken, “I know this is very scary for you and I don’t want to rush you, but whatever you decide, we will support you one hundred percent” at his mother’s words he let out a sob, before clinging to her for a bit longer, they ended up having a late dinner and sorting out his living arrangements with his cousin Song Lan over the phone, who was happy to have him stay with him,

When they got home, he stopped his mother for a moment, “Mother, can we not tell the others about the baby, I-I don’t think” he was shushed with a nod, “Of course we don’t have to, but you just pack your things up and I’ll tell the others at dinner alright?”

Jiang Wanyin nodded before heading off towards his room, all the information pack on being a parent shoved into his backpack, he hadn’t thought of anything but the child, _ God I’m going to be a mother, _he made it to his room just as Wei Ying barged in,

“Jiang Wangyin I think it’s time for dinner'' the door slamming open scared him and he dropped his backpack, the pregnancy information pack sprawled across the floor, as he clambered to shove it back into his bag, he hadn’t realised he was freaking out until Wei Ying once again was shushing him and rocking him back and forth in his arms,

“It’s okay, your okay”

His brother’s presence was comforting, as he sobbed his worries out, he stayed curled up until there was a knocking at the door, their mother came in looking at the sight before letting them know dinner would be soon, 

He didn’t cry again, maybe he was all cried out, but he did end up staying in Wei Ying’s arms, even when they walked out of the room, the comfort his brother supplied was nearly enough for Jiang Cheng. 

At dinner that night his mother had mentioned that he was to be sent to stay with their cousins up in Yumeng, everyone at this point could feel the tension in the air, even if their mother hadn’t counted on Wei Ying to find out this soon, Yanli could feel the room and tried to argue against the move “But he’s still got-”

“I can finish up school there, plus I want to get away for a bit” he knew playing on his older sister’s protectiveness was a bad thing but he didn’t want to explain it, at least not right now.

“We’re going to miss you” Wei Ying spoke seriously even when he tried to play it off jokingly it didn’t really work, Jiang Wangyin nodded, his father had already spoken to his mother and didn’t say much. 

Not that he would say anything, it wasn’t until Yanli had started clearing up with Wei Ying and mother doing dishes that he was called into his father’s study.

He had been avoiding the man ever since his mother had urged him to speak to the older Jiang man. His father was standing looking out his window, desk piled up with papers and books he had been studying, 

“Come in”

He closed the door quietly, as he waited for his father to speak, “Your mother told me this was important to you, I need to know that this is what you want” for a moment he wants to say no, he wants to stay here and keep his status as a proud Jiang, but he knows it won’t be the same, not anymore, he coughed as he answered, 

“Father, I cannot think of anything other than how important this is for me, it’s better this way” he had been so emotional over the past few days and now he was just tired of hiding.

“We’ll always be here for you Wanyin” his father states and he nods content with his father’s blessings, before he leaves his father coughed, “I want you to know, I will be there for you and your child, Wangyin” he paused for a moment, before looking up at Jiang Cheng with a teary eyed gaze

“I love you, A Cheng, don’t ever forget that” the words cause Jiang Cheng for the nth time to cry and throw himself into his father’s embrace, 

Senior Jiang may never say it enough but he truly did love all his children, after a few moments, Jiang Cheng is walked back to his room by his father he leaves after wishing him good night, Jiang Cheng enters Wei Ying’s room that night, his brother already waiting up for him.

They once again cuddled up like they used to do as children, though they both understood this was probably the only time they would have together as brothers, not that Wei Ying would ever 

“You should really pack extra clothes, who knows whether the old house is still running”, Wanyin pouts but his brother remains firm in his opinion, he nods, “I’ll do it tomorrow then” his nonchalant tone is betrayed by how he hugs his brother, “Of course”

They sleep like their seven year olds again, Madame Yu comes to check on her sons, and can’t help but smile at the sight. She prays the baby comes smoothly and that the child is healthy and happy.

* * *

Jiang Wanyin was all packed up and ready to go, his siblings and parents standing at the airport ready to see him off, Jiang Fengmian being the first as he pulled his son in for a long hug, as he pulled away his mother pinched his cheek, though her eyes were filled with unshed tears, “Call me when you land, alright?” he nodded placing a kiss on her forehead before moving towards his siblings, 

His sister was already crying, as she pulled him in for a tight hug, Wei Ying joining in, the three pulled away after a while, Yanli wiping away her tears, “I’ll see you in two weeks time, I don’t know why I’m crying so much”

“It’s because your going to miss your favourite brother obviously” he deadpanned, as Wei Ying argued, “As if, I’m right here” and Jiang Cheng just smiled, “I’m going to miss you both so much”

“We’ll hold up the family here, you just worry about taking care of yourself and your baby alright?”

Jiang Cheng then hugged Wei Ying once more, burrowing himself in the warmth of his brother’s frame exuded before pulling away, “I’ll see you later dumbass” he muttered fondly, as Wei Ying nodded.

He was getting emotional but he knew that he would be fine, he held his mother once more before he left waving happily, he smiled as hard as he could, before he turned away and headed for his gate.

He was going to be fine. He was, him and his baby were going to be just fine, especially with his siblings and mother visiting when they could, every other weekend.

He slept on the flight to Yumeng, it was going to be tiring but he knew it’d be worth it


	2. it was nothing more than an accident, but it cost me something i cherished, it cost me you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xichen's POV of the morning after, his uncle, meng yao and minjue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> notes on the story at the end.

The oldest Lan had managed to sneak into his home, through his window, after last night he regretted not staying with his boyfriend a little longer, especially with how adorable Jiang Cheng could be when completely exhausted. 

As he made a note mentally to find him as soon as he was fresh and clean and take him out for a late lunch or early dinner, honestly he couldn’t think of anything but Jiang Cheng, which was why he was very surprised after his shower to find his Uncle Qiren waiting in his room, “Uncle”

“Nephew” he replied before clearing his throat, “I thought I reminded you about your dinner with the family last night”

Lan Xichen nodded, before smiling lightly “I had something come up at the Jiang residence”, this time his Uncle had a stern look pass over his face, “Nephew, you understand what legacy you carry do you not?”

“Of course”

“Than you must know, that I would prefer it if you’d keep your distance from the Jiang family”, Xichen gritted his teeth before turning to his Uncle face still as straight as it could be though the smile was just as sharp, 

“My relationship with Jiang Cheng is not for debate, I love him” his Uncle flinched at the word, “And if people in our family can not understand that, than I would not want them to be considered family at all” the tone was as stern as was his steely gaze,

His Uncle sighed “We’ll talk about this when you have time, you’ve got a meeting to attend before graduation and do not forget the party we are having, majority of the faculty and graduates will be attending, I expect you to be there from start to finish”

Xichen nodded, as his Uncle left him in his room, he exhaled, he knew his uncle didn’t understand it, but he thought he’d be open to the idea after Wei Ying and Wangji’s relationship had blossomed. 

He ignored the thought, he was to be at the meeting, for today he’d ensure to act as his uncle had taught him, and then later he would take Jiang Cheng for a meal and confess about his plans for their future.

* * *

The graduation meeting had been tedious luckily Minjue and Meng Yao were with him, the former being more displeased at the fact he had to wear such ugly colours in order to graduate. “You’d think, it would be our choice after all these years stuck here in this prison” Xichen chuckled, “Mingjue, you do understand we’ve been wearing these colours since the start of our academic year”

“Doesn’t make it any better, A-Yao” he gritted out, before Meng Yao pulling the older closer, “C’mon Minjue, A-chen’s right, plus we graduate soon enough, aren’t you happier knowing that when this is all over, you’ll never have to wear these colours ever again?”

Mingjue was placated by this as Xichen rolled his eyes, _ When are they ever going to sort out this push and pull thing, _he thought to himself, before he was called by one of the other teachers.

He was valedictorian of his class, and told that he would have a speech be spoken as soon as possible, he realised they had a small break before the event, he headed towards his classroom in order to message Jiang Cheng.

Though before that he was pulled into another classroom by Jiang Yanli, one of the volunteers from the community, who also happened to be the older sister of the one he loved, he couldn’t help but smile at her though he had heard the rumours of how dangerous the Jiang siblings could be especially in regards to their baby brother, Jiang Cheng.

He frowned cocking his head at the young woman. She smiled at him sharply, “Hello Yanli what can I-”, “My baby brother had a visitor the other night”

He coughed thinking back to the night before, he nodded, “Yes, I recognise that I left but I do plan to take Jiang Cheng to dinner and-”

He was quieten down by her finger pointed at his sternum in warning, her eyes glinting dangerously similar to Madame Yu his mind then berated himself for that horrifying comparison, 

“I want to make sure that the next time you take Jiang Cheng to bed, it will be after you’ve wined, dined him and spoilt him rotten” her tone suggested that he not even try and argue, not that he would, because again this was Madame Yu’s daughter and Jiang Cheng’s fierce older sister, 

“As well as introducing yourself _ properly _to mother, father, Wei Ying and me at a family dinner, do you understand?”

Xichen nodded trying to placate the older woman, she stared at him for a few more moments before pulling back and slipping into her usual kind hearted smile, “I apologise for that, but I care for both my brothers very much so, that I expect that their lovers would be more courteous to ensure they are given what they rightly deserve”

He shook his head, smiling back now less terrified than before, “I promise you, I will honour Jiang Cheng and ensure his happiness, I don’t think I could hurt him at all,'' his voice wavered highlighting the raw emotion he had for the young man. 

Yanli watched him once more, this time more and more certainty growing upon her face at her brother’s choice in a lover, “Good, I’ll keep your word for it, congratulations on graduating and becoming valedictorian”, “Thank you” he felt giddy at her words, they meant more than anything else, especially now that he had her approval,

“I’ll see you around then, Jiang Cheng” Yanli took her leave as Xichen felt even more energised than before, he rushed off towards rehearsal meeting up with his friends. He waved at his brother and Wei Ying, seeing Jiang Cheng sitting further away slight frown on his face, he made a mental note to ask about that later on.

He was graduating, nothing could take away the happiness he held in his heart, not today.

* * *

The party was in full swing by the time he had finished up at the school hall, on his way to his house, he had realised something was wrong, Nie Mingjue, would not be attending as planned, his parents stating that they had set him up with a dinner with a potential partner, much to Meng Yao’s disdain.

He was babysitting his friend, who had already decided to get drunk and let loose, Xichen watched out for him, though he had tried to message Jiang Cheng who hadn’t answered any of his messages ever since he got out of the hall.

He frowned, before he excused himself from the party to head to the Lan study, which was his Uncle’s office/library, he had nearly dialled the number when his Uncle had walked in, “Lan Xichen”

“Uncle” he frowned, “We need to talk about your future” he sighed looking at his uncle for a mere moment, “I do not understand what there is to talk about, I’ll be attending Gusu Medical University like you stated and taking as many courses as I can”

“I didn’t mean that-I meant your fling with the Jiang boy”, at that he felt himself stiffen, the absolute disgrace in his tone evident, as Xichen turned to his Uncle, “I think it would be wise if you did not question my choices in whom I love”

“You are to be carrying our legacy, how will you, if you barely made it into Gusu Medical University without _ my _help”

At the stab at his attendance, Xichen eyes widened, at the truth, “Uncle do not tell me you had something to do with my acceptance”

  
His Uncle however huffed, “I had to, they had heard about your _ relationship _and decided that it would be-”

“Whether or not I get in, is on me and me alone, you should not abuse your power on the faculty to ensure that I attend and even if I didn’t I would’ve been fine at any of my back up choices”

“As a Lan you are to uphold the-”

“As a Lan, I am to be sure that I can carry the legacy regardless of what obstacles come into my way, Uncle that is something _ I _ must do, not _ you _”

They stood breathing heavily, Xichen felt a knot form in his stomach at the fact that his Uncle might’ve used his power to _ ensure _his attendance at the prestigious university. “Regardless of it, I will have to ensure you attend, I will not have you disgrace our family name like so”

“What have I disgraced-you know what do not worry Uncle, for I will give up my place in Gusu to someone who deserves it”

“Don’t you dare”

“I will excuse myself, it seems we are at an impasse for Uncle, I can truly not see how disappointing this is” at that he left the study and headed to his room, happy his Uncle was not following him. 

As he reached his room, he entered feeling frazzled before he chucked his phone at the wall in anger, he realised his mistake as he found the phone in pieces groaning before collapsing onto his bed, only to be met with another body,

He sat up immediately, looking over the other person he sighed, it was just Meng Yao, “A-Yao what have you done to yourself”

The shorter man groaned out “Mingjue, don’t leave me please” and Xichen sighed, if his Uncle was considered fucked up, he didn’t want to swap positions with Meng Yao or Mingjue the two had issues of their own, which was probably why the three were good friends, they each had their own issues to deal with, 

“Meng Yao, c’mon we gotta get you to the bathroom” however he had a lap full of Meng Yao on him, as the lithe man held onto him tightly, “Mingjue” he muttered before eyeing Xichen with a pout, “It’s Xichen, A-Yao-” his lips were then muffled against Meng Yao’s as the shorter man grabbed his hair, he froze, this was not supposed to happen, not like this.

He heard the door slam and something drop behind him, as he finally pulled away staring at Meng Yao who then proceeded to cry as he led him towards the bathroom, he’d deal with whoever was outside later, for not he had to ensure his friend was clean and sober.

He felt guilty for the kiss, and made another note to explain himself to Jiang Cheng as soon as he could, he didn’t like lying to his lover, especially even if it was an accident, it was something he didn’t like at all.

The night ended with Xichen cleaning up after everyone had left, Wangji had joined him earlier than expected, “Wangji, I thought you had a date with Wei Ying tonight”

However his brother just looked at him hesitating, before nodding at him and helping him with the clean up, they finished up and headed their seperate ways until Wangji called out to him, “Brother I-”

He waited for his younger brother to say something but Wangji shook his head, “Maybe it’s not important”

“Tell me in the morning, yeah?”

Wangji nodded though his worry shone through his eyes, made Xichen wonder what was happening, he headed towards his bedroom, as he entered he realised Wangji must’ve been in, because Meng Yao was now covered on his bed, and a makeshift bed on the floor was prepared

Though what caught his gaze was the velvet box sitting on top if his desk, it was wrapped in purple velvet, something that reminded him of Jiang Cheng.

As he opened it he saw a bell sitting in the centre, the small card attached to the box was signed with elegance, _ ‘To Xichen, From: Wanyin’ _he had heard of this bell, it was the one that the Jiang family gave to their one and only, he smiled remembering that he had left his ribbon tied on Jiang Cheng’s wrist the other night.

He smiled, heart tightening at the sight as he traced the name, he had only heard it a few times, when he had been invited to their home, it was used mostly by Jiang Cheng’s siblings when they were trying to convince the grumpy boy to do something with them, 

He would see Jiang Cheng in the morning, maybe even show up at his house, with flowers and a thank you card, though he later got ready for bed as soon as he could.

* * *

Xichen had risen early and been subjected to Mingjue having somehow snuck into his room and settle against Meng Yao, he cringed before stepping out and headed to the showers. He had a lover to take out and thank, as he pocketed his gift on his way towards the bathroom.

* * *

He had headed towards the Jiang Home, flowers in hand and ready and prepped until he was stopped by the security guard, Zidian, she was a fierce woman who had warmed up to him a but today she looked out for a kill.

“I apologise Mr.Lan, but the family are out for the moment”

“Well I can wait by-”

“I think you should come again, later when the family are here” her voice held a slight distinct anger to it, though he wouldn’t know if it was towards him or the situation. “Well can you let Jiang Cheng know I stopped by” he smiled again, though this time the woman all but growled at him, as she nodded tightly, “Of course, good bye, Mr.Lan” the ice in her voice confused Lan Xichen.

He had hoped to see his lover today, maybe he can catch him tomorrow, he left the flowers with Zidian whose eye twitched but ignored him in favour of surveillancing the area.

Something didn’t sit right with him.

* * *

He wouldn’t know what it was until it was too late though, he wouldn’t realise it until he was rushing towards the airport after nearly two weeks with no message from Jiang Cheng only to hear from Lan Wangji that Jiang Cheng would be flying out. Minjue and Meng Yao by his side as he rushed towards the gate, only to find the Jiang family walking back, 

Jiang Cheng’s mother and father ignored him, the latter looking at him pityingly before leaving with Zidian, Xichen looked at Wei Ying and Yanli who glared at him. “W-why didn’t he-”

“Yanli, do you hear something?” Wei Ying mocked, though his eyes were red from crying, “I asked you if you would treat him well” the older woman stated

“What are-”

However Yanli didn’t let him get a word in, “Do not cut me off, Lan Xichen, it will be the last thing you ever do”

Meng Yao stepped forward in defence, Mingjue still watching the entire thing from the side, he wasn’t a man of words but he knew a fight he wouldn’t win even if he tried, Wei Ying growled at Meng Yao, “You shady little-”

“I don’t think it’s fair for you to treat Xichen like this without knowing the full story”

Wei Ying laughed hollowly, “Oh however will we treat the goody two shoes Lan, you are pathetic” Yanli didn’t hold Wei Ying back, Xichen felt himself grow sick, he had a feeling he knew where this was going,

“You are good with words aren’t you, my brother came to gift you with something precious after giving you everything he was and you took him for a fool”

“Wei Ying-” however the younger didn’t stop, pressing on, even when Meng Yao glared harshly, “My brother is too good for someone as weak as you, never show your face to my family again, Yanli and I will never let you near him, not again, my brother deserves better” he spat out, his aura showing nothing but untamed rage  
  


“Wei Ying, if you would just hear-” Meng Yao tried to defend him, however the adopted Jiang snarled at him, “You two really do suit each other, a coward and a-”, “Wei Ying, father and mother are waiting” Yanli cut in, she was holding herself back though Wei Ying was right in how they felt, Xichen wished he had only explained sooner, 

“We should take our leave, I’m positive Lan Xichen understands what we are saying”, Xichen steels himself for a second, he knew how true those words were but at the same time he wanted to see and talk to Jiang Cheng himself and explain what had actually happened though he knew there wasn’t a chance not at all, not right now at least.

“I wish to explain what happened that night, Meng Yao was drunk and thought I was-”, Yanli holds her hand, this time the fire in her eyes growing, “My brother and I will excuse ourselves, we have family matters to attend” Wei Ying already walked off towards Madame Yu who was watching from afar, gaze still as sharp even if she was a good distance away,

“I warned you not to hurt him, you failed” her words were a stab into his heart, though she held his gaze, “I will ask you to not try and contact my brother, if you do, I will have Zidian deal with you, whatever happened between you and your friend, is between the two of you, my brother has made it clear he wants nothing to do with you, especially to your Uncle and to all of us and now we will live with the consequences”

Her words held a certainty to them that he wanted to argue, but he tightened his fists, holding back his unshed tears to nod, the two siblings left together, as he felt Minjue’s hand on his shoulder, Meng Yao’s arm around his, “I’m so sorry A-Chen” the shorter of the three stated. 

However it was Mingjue’s hug that comforted him the most, he felt the tears burn down his face, as he sniffed. His Jiang Cheng was gone, and with it was all the love Lan Xichen had in his heart. The bell in his pocket felt heavier than before, as he felt Minjue tighten his hold around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY GUYS JUST TO CLEAR UP.
> 
> THERE ARE NO BAD GUYS (like their assholes but they mean well, please wait for the rest of the fics)
> 
> -Lan Qiren just worries for Lan Xichen though he is set in his ways since the Gusu Medical University are a bunch of judgemental assholes (don't worry there is a fic in order to show that Old Man Lan does really care for Xichen (even if he is an asshole at times in the fics)
> 
> \- Meng Yao and Minjue are good friends with Lan Xichen (and all three of them have had fucked up lives, Minjue is the only heir to the Nie company so his parents expect him to date a woman and have children) Meng Yao's half brother to Jin Ziuxuan and has had to live in his brother's shadow for years (though later on the brothers do reunite and all is well and good) Lan Xichen is just expected to do whatever his Uncle says, until Jiang Cheng comes into the picture and changes his perspective on everything.
> 
> -The incident between Meng Yao and Xichen was accidental, (guys I ship Minjue x Meng Yao so much) but because the Jiang Siblings are tighter than a sailor's knot they don't give Xichen a second chance at all (until later on, though it's now Jiang Cheng's choice) due to seeing how heartbroken JC was after witnessing it. (No one fucks with the Yunmeng Trio)
> 
> -The Jiangs in my fics do love each other (and the reason they are better now than before is because of an incident when Jiang Cheng was eleven that led to a visit to the hospital which in turn led both parents to realise their children love them and should not be used in a mental battle between parents, which leads both parents down a 'we need to get our shit together bcuz the kids deserve better').
> 
> -Also if Yanli feels OOC, I think that's just due to the fact, I'm an older sister and I would react this way if someone fucked with one of my siblings, so yeahhhh I would verbally lash out at anyone who breaks my siblings heart. 
> 
> Also enjoy the update any other questions please write them down in the comments, love feedback and all that :)


	3. i am a fool but if i have to wait forever, it's worth having you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xichen is not doing okay, his brother is worried and his friends want to hear him say 'he's not okay'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> basically this was suppose to be part of the other chapter, but I decided to split it.

It had been a month since the break up or as Xichen’s friends labelled it ‘misunderstanding of the century’ not that they would say that in front of the poor man. He had thrown himself into his studies, his brother and uncle not being able to comfort him.

He went through his exams nothing but studying on his mind, he tried to ignore the stares that he had caught, especially the guilt in Wangji’s eyes, he didn’t blame him, nor would he, Wangji played no part in this mess, but it didn’t help that Wangji would be able to be with the one he loved or the fact his Uncle was still pressing for him to attend Gusu Med, 

He pushed himself into applying into any university overseas in order to try and forget about Jiang Cheng and the so called ‘legacy’, it didn’t help that each time he would drive past the Jiang residence he could see the lotus flowers from afar, mocking him in a way. His heart would twist and he would need to have a moment to himself.

His friends had finally convinced him to go out with them a week after their exams had finished. They were worried, he hadn’t talked much after the incident and he knew it worried them but he didn’t know what to say, how could he, his heart left him without a message or a simple goodbye. The fact that Meng Yao and Mingjue were still secretly dating didn’t help either.

So he got ready in his now bare room, (he had trashed it the night he confronted the Jiang family then proceeded to have everything but the bed and a few essential items removed), though everything was gone, he still held onto the gift he had found, he cherished it dearly, even if he had heard from Wangji that Wei Ying had been trying to find it for a while. 

Lan Xichen was selfish, if the Jiang family got to keep Jiang Cheng then he could keep the precious bell, couldn’t he? 

After all he had left his ribbon with Jiang Cheng, wasn’t it a good exchange, he shook his head out of those thoughts not wanting to dampen his mood before going out, 

He was going to drink away his problems tonight, even if it meant he would finally be letting out all he the feelings he had kept hidden away, the Lan family were not the type to express themselves, well not until Wei Ying and Jiang Cheng at least entered their lives.

* * *

“Brother, Mingjue-ge and Meng Yao ge are here” his brother stated through his door, he sighed running a hand through his hair as he shouted out, “I’m coming”

As he pulled it open he was met with his brother’s usual worried gaze, he tried to smile but that made Wangji frown even more, “Brother should you really be going out tonight?”

“Do you not have a date with Wei Ying?” he replied, not missing a beat, Wangji tried to argue but Xichen shook his head before smiling, “Go and be happy, I’ll be fine for one night A-ji” the nickname made his younger brother frown before nodding,

The two parted ways with Xichen promising to text him as soon as he got home, he walked out seeing Mingjue already waiting with a car, Meng Yao already inside, “Let’s get shitfaced” the short man stated as they drove off. 

Mingjue looked between the two, before muttering something under his breath, “I can’t believe I’m the sober one tonight”

Xichen just chuckled as he joined in on Meng Yao’s rendition of ‘Heartbreaker’ by Mariah Carey. The three were then driven off towards their destination downtown and if Xichen let himself smile a bit at Mingjue’s off key impersonation of Whitney Houston, well it was between the three friends.

* * *

They had been at the bar for a couple of hours, before they finally got a private room, one of Mingjue’s family friends had set it up for them. They were all of age, but that didn’t mean they were to publicise their drinking for everyone to see, besides Mingjue didn’t want the hassle of the paparazzi getting photos of him, his boyfriend and bestfriend getting plastered. 

Especially on a night they needed to themselves, they were only a few drinks in when Meng Yao fell asleep, Xichen was buzzed at this point humming along to the song playing in the background when Mingjue spoke,

“You know tonight was for you”

Xichen stiffened slightly before smiling at his best friend who scoffed, “Stop acting like your okay”, “But I am-”

“I’ve known you since we were in diapers, you are  _ not  _ okay Xichen”, at that point the Lan opens his eyes feeling slightly irritated that his mood was ruined, “I want to enjoy my night, Mingjue, I thought that was what tonight was about”

“You and I both know better, just because my boyfriend planned this, doesn’t mean you have to act like your okay, I thought  _ we  _ were friends” 

At that Xichen feels guilty, they had sworn to each other to never lie, brothers for life even before they had met Meng Yao freshmen year, it was always Xichen and Mingjue until it wasn’t and that was okay for a while, Mingjue had Meng Yao and Xichen had good friends and Jiang Cheng, he  _ had  _ Jiang Cheng, 

He hung his head low for a bit, exhaling shakily,

“I’m not going to be okay anytime soon”, when Mingjue didn’t try and speak again, Xichen continued, “I don’t know if I’ll ever feel like the old Xichen” he opened his eyes looking his bestfriend in the eye, “It fucking hurts, A-jue, I-I don’t know if I can-god I love him so much” his voice is now wavering, 

The entire month’s repression comes out in clumps, his breath stuttering out each and every single attempt at talking, “I I know I fucked up-but if I could just talk to him, or just know how he is-I need him, A-jue, he’s everything” he stops trying to breathe properly, his friend’s hand on his shoulder keeping him grounded as he lets out an ugly sob.

They pause as Meng Yao sobers up a bit, “A-Chen, are you crying?” he pouts out, sitting up slowly, he looks towards Mingjue who nods, “Yeah, he is”, that sobers the Jin brother up fast, Meng Yao is now on the other side of his friend, “Your going to find someone way better than that guy”

“I don’t want to, though, Jiang Cheng” he gulps, “A-Cheng, was the only one for me, I can’t even fathom anybody else in my life” he turns into himself a bit, as if to get away from the comfort of his friends, it felt like he was suffocating, it felt like he everything was coming at him too fast, Mingjue stayed where he sat and gestured for Meng Yao to do the same, 

They waited until the man had finished sobbing, hands covering his face, either to wipe away his tears or hide away from the two, Mingjue spoke again, “I’m not going to say anything like go after him or that bullshit, but I will say this, if you truly love him and he really does love you, because  _ I  _ know he loves you, whether it’s years from now or by the end of this week, you’ll see him again”

Xichen sniffs looking up at his friend, “How do you know?” he demands not being able to hold the anger in his voice back, as Mingjue just nods, “Because your Lan fucking Xichen, your amazing and from the fact I’ve seen that look on that Jiang boy’s face from time to time, he really does love you” 

The slightly bearded man clears his throat, “Besides he’s been mooning over you from the time he laid eyes on you, just give him some time”

Meng Yao stayed silent for a bit, he may have sobered up a bit, but that didn’t stop him from speaking, “It’s true though, I’ve seen the looks and heard all the stories, the Jiangs are a loyal brood, if your really adamant about him being  _ ‘the one’  _ then you’ll see him later”

Xichen took in his friends’ words to heart, it’s true that he couldn’t let Jiang Cheng go, nor would he like to, but they were right, if Jiang Cheng truly loved Xichen he would come back and Xichen would wait, he would wait as long as he had to, if it meant he got Jiang Cheng in the end. “Thank you” he got out, as Mingjue pulled him in for a hug, Meng Yao jumping up too fast as the three laughed the rest of their night away.

* * *

Once they had finished up, Mingjue sent for his driver, and Xichen was standing in front of his home, he felt better than ever, even stumbling into his home, no one around he climbed the stairs to his room. Entering the bathroom and washing up before heading back to his bedroom, he stood in front of his dresser, pulling out one of his drawers and carefully taking out the velvet box,

He kept it well away from any wandering eyes, even knowing none of his family would be bothered snooping after his break up with Jiang Cheng. It was better to be safe than sorry, he didn’t need anything else taken away from him too soon.

He traced the edge of the small box, before opening it and gazing at the bell shining within it, he couldn’t help but smile at the memory of Jiang Cheng specifically packing this for him. Mingjue was right though, Jiang Cheng really loved him and Xichen would wait, no matter how long it took, he’d wait for his lover to come back to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy the last of Lan Xichen until we further go into the story. Next Chapter is all Jiang Cheng and Song Lan and Jiang family vibes between the two. 
> 
> Also extra notes for the next chapter:
> 
> -Song Lan is older cousin to the Jiang family, as his mother and Senior Jiang are siblings, so expect family feels
> 
> -JC singing to his baby and explaining how he was scared at the start but now he's ready
> 
> -Also JC and Song Lan talk about LXC


	4. my heart hurts so does my head but your worth it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jiang Cheng lands in Yunmeng. Song Lan picks him up. Song Lan and Jiang Cheng have a few small family jiang vibes moments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a baby step into Jiang Cheng's pregnancy. Please enjoy!

Jiang Cheng’s flight had lasted all but five hours, though it felt even longer, as he headed out to collect his luggage, as soon as he grabbed the suitcase, he messaged his family that he had landed safe and sound.

He already headed out, slightly familiar with the small airport, as it was Yunmeng, he tired, though he still walked out, to see a familiar figure from afar. His cousin Song Lan had always been tall and unusually quiet, but the sight of family nearly made him tear up. Briskly walking towards the older man, he hugged him out of pure needed comfort, Song Lan patted his back, leading him towards the parking lot.

“It’s nice to see you Jiang Cheng”, the younger of the two just snorts, “Stop being weird, your making this too formal” however the older man just smiles on their way to the car. They do not talk, Jiang Cheng was too tired and Song Lan wasn’t much of one for small talk. 

Once they had reached the car, Song Lan ensured to handle the luggage, waving Jiang Cheng into the car, the young man pouted slightly but realised his cousin was right, he complied sitting in the passenger seat and relax for a moment.

He felt his phone vibrate, as he answered it, “Hello?”

_ ‘A-Cheng! How was the flight?’  _ he smiled Wei Ying’s voice was comforting even if he would never admit it out loud, his brother was shameless especially when it came to Jiang Cheng admitting his fondness for his siblings.

“It was long, but I’m with Song Lan-ge now”speak of the devil as the man slid into the driver’s seat, he mouthed ‘Wei Ying’ as his cousin nodded, starting the drive, 

_ ‘Well I-’  _ Wei Ying was cut off when he heard someone else take the phone,  _ ‘A-Cheng!’  _ his mother’s familiar voice filled his ears, as he heard Wei Ying squawk from the background, though Yanli and Senior Jiang’s laughter was muffed he felt content knowing his family were together,

“Yes, Mother, I’ve landed, I’m on the way back to the Yunmeng house with Cousin Song”,  _ ‘Make sure you get plenty of rest, you and your baby have been travelling for too long, I’m scared you might be more worn out than before’  _

He nodded before replying, “Of course Mother”, the phone was then being handed off to Yanli, who sounded slightly out of it, she must’ve still been crying when he had left, “Yanli-jie, I’m-”

_ ‘I know, but a sister can worry you know’  _ he swore he heard Wei Ying mutter something about a stupid Lan, though he chalked that up to Lan Wangji, his mind not being able to handle anything to do with his baby’s father at the moment.

“I’m fine” he breathed out, though from the corner of his vision he could see Song Lan watching him for a moment,  _ ‘Good, I’m happy, I just remembered, mother, Wei Ying and I have booked a flight for Yunmeng two weeks from now, so be prepared’  _ he heard his mother and brother squawk this time, Madame Yu hissing out,  _ ‘it was supposed to be a surprise! Yanli!’  _ she reprimanded on the other side of the phone,

This time the phone was passed over to someone else as the three had a small argument in the background,  _ ‘Son’  _ he heard his father speak, his heart clenched at the fondness it his tone, “Father”

_ ‘I hope...no I know you’ll be fine in your cousin’s hands, but if you need anything and I mean anything, don’t hesitate to call us’  _ his father stressed out, and Jiang Cheng would like to blame it on the hormones but the tears sliding down his face were a mixture of emotions as he sniffed a bit, “Okay” he replied, 

He felt Song Lan’s hand on his shoulder, his cousin squeezing it tight before letting go, he took another deep breath before saying his goodbyes. “I’ll call you as soon as I’ve settled in, I love you guys”

_ ‘We love you too son, get some rest’  _ his father had replied, before Jiang Cheng ended the call. He sat for a moment before bawling, as Song Lan pulled up to the side of the road, to let him cry it out. 

His family were understanding and supportive and he didn’t know what he did in a past life to earn it, but he would cherish it as much as he could. 

Song Lan broke the silence after a few more moments, he stage whispered to Jiang Cheng’s stomach, “Your gonna be so spoilt when you come out”, Jiang Cheng wiped his tears away as he playfully pushed his cousin away from his non existent bump.

He scowled at the older man, though it wasn’t his usually annoyed facial expression it did make Song Lan feel a little reassured that his cousin was fine, even with everything that had happened.

Song Lan continued their conversation, as Jiang Cheng fell asleep, the drive back to the Yunmeng home was long, the young man didn’t wake even when he parked up at a close by gas station to fill up.

The older man managed to grab some waters and fruit, knowing how the younger might be famished when he awoke. 

* * *

He woke Jiang Cheng up as soon as they drove onto the driveway, “Jiang Cheng, we’re home” at that the younger scowled slightly but nodded, “I’ll grab your bags, you can head straight inside, A-Xing isn’t home from work yet, but I’ll get started on lunch soon”

As the pregnant man stretched he slipped off his seat belt already walking back into the home, taking his backpack in. The home was still as bright as before, the lavenders and gardenias blooming prettily against the large windows,

Jiang Cheng paused for a moment, taking in the two-story home, “Hey, you alright?” Song Lan asked slightly worried, the young Jiang just nodded, “Yeah” he replied, 

“Okay, I’m going inside, come in whenever your ready”, he just nodded as his cousin walked past with his suitcase and duffle bag in hand, he held his stomach, deciding he wasn’t ready to go inside he walked through towards the back gate, the garden he had grown up surrounded by looked well taken care of, his cousin must’ve tended to it.

He saw the gardenias, sunflowers, tulips, they moved in the slight breeze, the sunlight making their shine even brighter than usual, he spoke quietly,

“Hello” he got out, patting his tummy, “I know you probably can’t hear me yet, but I am your Mother” his throat closed up at the thought, he gulped, 

“I was worried and” he stopped when he finally saw the gazebo at the back, he slowed his walk down, hands on stomach as if he were holding something that needed to be handled delicately,

He sat down on the wooden step of the gazebo, “But I think we’ll be fine, I  _ know  _ we’ll be fine,” he smiled a bit before clearing his throat, “I’ll teach you everything I know and you will be loved fiercely and well protected”

He ran his hand on the wooden floor of the edge of the gazebo, looking around at the beauty of Yunmeng gardens, “It may be a little silly, to ask but I hope you’ll teach me things too, my little lotus seed” he teased,

“I can’t promise you I’ll be the best parent, but I swear to you I’ll try and you’ll never be unloved, I  _ refuse  _ to let you feel like your a burden, you are not a burden” his eyes closed as he thought back to his childhood before the incident and how happier he had been after it, at how his parents and siblings had cleared any misunderstandings, he would never allow those thoughts to be what his child would ever think or feel,

“You will never be a burden, not to me” he gasped out, he didn’t know if the slight fluttering in his stomach was due to his unborn child or just because he was feeling particularly emotional, he hoped it was the former, 

"You'll be my child, my beautiful little lotus flower" he spoke so fondly, throat feeling choked up already,

“I seem quite silly don’t I? Talking to you as if you’ll hear me” he chuckled, unshed tears ready to fall, “But I heard that it’s good to talk to you, even if you haven’t developed ears yet, you can still feel everything and know that I mean it”

He closed his eyes, hands sliding towards his stomach as if trying to hug the little bud within it, “I’m going to sing you a song, this song may not be your favourite, but it is certainly mine”

He cleared his throat, humming the tune, as the tears fell, whether it be for his child or his ex lover it didn’t matter, for he was singing for whoever would listen and for now it was to his unborn lotus seed,

_ The other night dear, as I lay sleeping _

_ I dreamed I held you in my arms _

_ But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken _

_ So I hung my head and I cried _

He clung tight to his abdomen, as he continued, 

_ You are my sunshine, my only sunshine _

_ You make me happy when skies are gray _

_ You'll never know dear, how much I love you _

_ Please don't take my sunshine away _

He gasped out, pleadingly, he paused to take a breath, he could feel himself tire, but the song wasn’t finished yet, not yet,

_ I'll always love you and make you happy _

_ If you will only say the same _

_ But if you leave me and love another _

_ You'll regret it all some day _

He stopped, he knew he wasn’t singing to his baby, not that verse particularly, it was to a man he thought loved him, but he pushed those thoughts away, this song was for his little lotus seed, who he would care for and love forever and a day,

_ You told me once, dear, you really loved me _

_ And no one else could come between _

_ But now you've left me and love another _

_ You have shattered all of my dreams _

He was now crying as he felt his breathing get complicated, he needed to take a moment, but he would do that once he finished the song,

_ You are my sunshine, my only sunshine _

_ You make me happy when skies are gray _

_ You'll never know dear, how much I love you _

_ Please don't take my sunshine away _

Jiang Cheng was now fully crying, as he leant against the gazebo to calm himself down, he felt someone on his right pulling him in for a hug. Song Lan’s presence helped even if it wasn’t Wei Ying’s hugs or Yanli’s reassurance it was close enough. They stayed like that for what felt like an age, until Song Lan pulled back, “Let’s go eat, yeah?” Jiang Cheng just nodded being taken back into the house, 

He was tired now, but his cousin just sat him down in the living room, headed back to the kitchen to grab some of the food he had cooked, it smelt delicious though it tasted even better. He hummed politely, as Song Lan handed him a bowl, not letting go until Jiang Cheng had promised he would be fine,

Song Lan joined him on the couch, they didn’t talk, though Jiang Cheng didn’t want to, he knew his cousin would even though he was usually silent, he would make him talk.

After they had finished, Song Lan took their dishes away, before coming back, Jiang Cheng had finished crying but he was still sniffling, Song Lan had bought in a cup of water, filling it, before sitting down beside his cousin and pulling him into a hug,

It reminded him of Wei Ying and Yanli’s hugs and he turned into the embrace, “I know you don’t want to talk, and I’m not trying to force you” however Jiang Cheng shook his head, “No, I’ll-I just, God I feel so pathetic”

Song Lan tightened his hold on his younger cousin, “Never say that you are not pathetic, your a Jiang”, “I don’t feel like one right now”, “Then I’ll make sure to remind you”

They sat like that both men just enjoying the silence, as Jiang Cheng had finally calmed down, burrowing into his cousin’s arms before starting up again, Song Lan was patient, he was known for his patience, it was one of his qualities,

“I love him-no I loved him” he stated, “A-and he cheated after I” he went quiet, but Song Lan understood where he was going with this, “I just-I thought I was the one, he told me so many times, but”

“But what?”

“But maybe everybody was right” at that Song Lan frowned, he didn’t like where this was going, he knew how insecure Jiang Cheng had been when they were children, heck they were still considered children if anything, he had only turned 24 and Jiang Cheng was 17 going on 18 soon enough, 

He knew how intrusive the young Jiang's thoughts could get, he continued to hold onto him, as Jiang Cheng rested his face against his neck, he tried to make the teenager as comfortable as possible, 

“We’re too young to swear ourselves to each other like that, it was just a foolish dream” he stated, though the hurt in his voice was evident, Jiang Cheng held onto him, as he rubbed his back comfortingly,

“That sounds like absolute bullshit” he replied, “But it’s true-”, 

“Then whoever said that is either jealous or some ugly shrew that never got laid”

That made the younger snort, as Song Lan smiled, “Plus if he’s dumb enough to let the most loyalist Jiang I know go, that’s his loss, and I know you’ll do better”, Jiang Cheng stayed silent, “My baby” 

Song Lan tightened his hold as he pulled back to give his cousin his reassurance, those dark sapphires usually filled with mirth, looked murky and the dark circles under his eyes didn’t help either, “Your baby will be fine, because they’ve got you and you have all of us”

Jiang Cheng let out a whimper before he burrowed back into his cousins arms crying happily, this talk wasn’t over by a long shot but he sure as heck was going to ensure that his cousin would never feel like this ever again.

They stayed like that until Jiang Cheng fell asleep, and Song Lan maneuvered him against the plushiest cushions he could fine, he would prep the guest room with a few more extra pillows, looking back at the pregnant young man passed out, he smiled throwing another blanket over him and pushing his hair out of his face,

“You’ll be an amazing parent, A-Cheng” he whispered as he left to start dinner and finish up a few more things before his boyfriend got home and Jiang Cheng woke up again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be:
> 
> -Jiang Cheng's first weekend with XiaoSong couple
> 
> -Xingchen and Jiang Cheng meet and gossip over embarrassing moments about Song Lan
> 
> -Jiang Cheng's first doctor's appointment, featuring Doctor!Wen Qing
> 
> Notes on this chapter:
> 
> The song is sort-of sad but I thought it'd be fitting way to ensure Jiang Cheng's state, since he's going through a lot, again sorry if this chapter is short/messy, but I'll have a better plan of how it's going to go after the 26th Nov (gotta finish up uni exams wish me luck).


	5. oh god i cant do this, no i can goddamn it, i am doing this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jiang Cheng meets Xiao Xingchen. Song Lan starts to regret introducing the two. Jiang Cheng's first proper appointment on his own.

Xingchen had a long day at work, he had been in his office all but five minutes before he was being bombarded by his workers asking him about the most recent court case against an abusive uncle and aunt.

He had shoved the file of the children in his case before heading back home, he messaged his boyfriend, who had messaged him back saying Jiang Cheng had landed safely and that he was at home sleeping,

Xingcheng couldn’t help but feel hurt for his lover’s young cousin, 

“I’ll be home soon enough”

_ ‘Alright, dinner will be ready’ _

He smiled, “See you soon, my dear” he hung up as he continued the drive from work to his home in Yunmeng.

* * *

The sun had set on the lake in Yunmeng, Jiang Cheng had awoken to the smell of delicious food, some good music playing in the background, he blinked for a moment forgetting where he was,

As he sat up groggily he made his way towards the kitchen, Song Lan was in the middle of stirring the pot as another man, Xingchen if he remembered correctly was setting up the table.

Jiang Cheng felt sheepish at the fact they were setting up and he had been sleeping, Xingchen however greeted him with a warm smile,

“You must be Jiang Cheng, I am Xiao Xingchen, it’s nice to finally meet you”

“Likewise” he stepped up to greet the man properly with a handshake, “Song Lan’s told us alot about you over the years”

At that Xingchen looked flustered as he scratched the back of his head, smiling, “Well-I-that’s nice” he let out awkward, this time Song Lan interfered, “Dinner’s done, and the table’s set, let’s eat”

The three sat down, Jiang Cheng praising his cousin for the good food, as did his boyfriend, while they were eating Xingchen asked Jiang Cheng about his plans, 

“So, I don’t want to sound like an ass, but have you thought of your studies yet?”

Jiang Cheng nodded, already having prepared in his last two weeks at Gusu, “I’ve had my mother and sister, transfer my academic records to a high school here, and will be having a tutor or two come teach me at the local library, I’ll be finalising the details, soon enough”

“Xingchen has a few friends that would be willing to take in a student or two” Song Lan pointed out, Xingchen nodded, “They run a few outside courses for teenagers in a certain position in their life”

“That is actually amazing, I didn’t know Yunmeng had courses like that” he looked towards Song Lan who looked smug, “They didn’t not until Xiao Xingchen and a few of his colleagues came into town”

“Stop it, I do not deserve that much credit”

“You deserve all the credit”

“Song Lan”

“Xiao Xingchen”

The couple looked happy, Jiang Cheng’s heart would’ve hurt, but he was happy for his cousin, honestly the amount of times Song Lan had been single was surprising, he couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought of the last blind date, 

“What’s so funny, my dear cousin”

Jiang Cheng slyly smiled at the older man, “I’m just remembering a familiar blind date arrangement with a certain Song Jiyang” 

At the mere mention of the past date, Song Lan flushed easily,

“Oh this I have to hear” Xingchen slid closer to the teenager, eyes bright and mischeevious as Song Lan face palmed, 

By the end of dinner, Song Lan was red-faced and huffing as he cleared away the table to the laughter of the two, Xingchen already admitting to when Song Lan tripped up into the lake on their seventh date.

“Oh god, he was such an awkward teenager, when we were kids, he just didn’t know how to use his overgrown limbs”

Song Lan entered once more, with dessert, “I thought having you here would be a good idea, but I am starting to regret it”

However before JIang Cheng could let himself feel slightly bad, Xingchen held onto him tightly, “He’s ours now, and there’s no takesies backsies” he teased,

Jiang Cheng looked over at Song Lan who rolled his eyes fondly, “Fine, but if he pees on the couch, your cleaning it up”

Jiang Cheng laughed loudly at the teasing jab before they enjoyed their dessert, Xingchen got up after clearing away the dishes, while Song Lan showed Jiang Cheng to his room.

They walked the familiar hallway, before reaching the room, it was Yanli’s old room, he could remember the times his brother and himself had spent sneaking in and out of her room, usually just to hear more and more bedtime stories.

Song Lan opened the door for him, “I put all your bags here, and the bathroom has spare towels if you’d like to shower”

Jiang Cheng smiled, “Thank you, again”

However his cousin just shook his head, “Don’t worry about it, your family, A-Cheng, besides Xingchen will be taking you to your appointment tomorrow, don’t think too much yeah?”

Jiang Cheng nodded before he was left alone in the room, he exhaled tiredly, getting to unpacking his bag into the dresser and the wardrobe it wasn’t until he got to the ribbon he had shoved in the pockets, that he stopped,

He pulled the long sky blue ribbon embroided with clouds, and felt himself slip onto the floor quietly, it felt heavy in his hands, as he closed his eyes trying to calm himself down,

The moment he got time to breathe he shoved the ribbon into the closest bottom drawer, as he stood heading towards the bathroom. He needed a long shower, rubbing his belly absent mindedly, he was not going to let himself go down teh dark road, his baby deserved better.

* * *

In the morning, at breakfast, Song Lan was headed to work, overseeing the vineyard, “You know I still can’t believe you ended up running the vine yard” Jiang Cheng stated over a bowl of cereal,

“Why is it so hard to believe?”

“Because Wei Ying and I bet, you would’ve become a fireman when we were younger”, at the mere mention of fireman, Xingchen looked intrigued, to this Song Lan glared at his young cousin,

“That story I do want to hear, but we’re going to be late to your appointment with Wen Qing”

Jiang Cheng nodded, finishing up his breakfast before Song Lan took his bowl away, “Go, I’ll clean up, Wen Qing will kill me if your late”

Jiang Cheng followed after Xingchen who was on another call that sounded a little urgent, 

“Keep him there, I’ll take him in for the night, while the parents are in lock up, alright see you in about an hour, yeah?” the older man hung up, 

“Work?” the young man asked, as the other nodded, both slipping into the car, “It’s been hectic, but this case needs to be handled fast, otherwise it’ll be dragged out, and I know it won’t end well”

The two conversed on the way to the doctor’s office, as Jiang Cheng got out, Xingchen had stated he would be back as soon as possible. The car drove off as Jiang Cheng carried his medical report and other papers in regards to the pregnancy.

The office was small but comforting, the woman at the desk smiling at him, 

“Hello, how can I help you today?”

“I’m here to see Dr.Wen, Xiao Xingchen booked my appointment”

The woman nodded, gesturing for him to sit down as she ran to get the doctor, he took in how simple the doctor’s office was, it was nice, compared to the hustle and bustle of Gusu city, Yunmeng had always been simple.

He took in the pamphlets that littered the coffee table, even one or two magazines well worn though still in good condition, he had wandered over towards a few of the paintings, taking into consideration, one that depicted two figures, one was the child, the parent, both holding onto each other in a warm embrace,

The pregnant teenager ran his hand over the edge of the painting, eyes slightly glazed, thinking of the small bun in his stomach, would the child smile like Xichen or pout like he did, would their child hold those honey amber hue or his sharp sapphire gaze, he rubbed his flat stomach, not knowing whether he would be prepared anytime soon,

He was lost in thoughts, the familiar dread crawling up on him, he didn’t know if he could do this, he wasn’t either of his siblings nor were they here before it could all but consume him he heard someone speak,

“Nice painting right?” a voice called from his left, he turned to meet a woman wearing a lab coat and name tag reading ‘Dr.Wen’.

“Hi Jiang Cheng?” she asked looking expectant, he nodded as he followed her towards her office, as he entered she shut the door quietly behind them, sliding into her chair behind the desk,

“I’ve been sent your medical files and the last appointment you had gone to, if you’d like, did you want to do an ultrasound?”, Jiang Cheng nodded absentminded, she led him over to the obstetric table, with an ultrasound machine to the side of it,

He paused as he watched her go over the machine, before she turned back to him, he must’ve looked quite scared because her gaze softened even more,

“Don’t worry, I’ll be right by your side” her promise and the sincerity in her tone helped him walk over towards the table, as he laid down, he could still feel the uncertainty in his choice, his belly felt heavy, as he thought about all the worries he had to take care of,

A moment later, a cold gel was spread on his stomach, and as he shivered at the feel, the Doctor chuckled,

“There is your baby, that small little peanut sized baby” she gestured as the wand moved over his stomach slower, and Jiang Cheng felt something click,

He saw how small the baby was, and he couldn’t help but chuckle wetly, his tears falling, as his doctor stopped moving the wand, to wait for him.

“I-I’m sorry, I’m just-I was so scared and now that I see my baby” he blurted out, as he wiped away the tears,

Dr.Wen uses her free hand to grab a box of tissues from nearby and shove it in his direction, “You’ll be fine, as I can see from the files and the ultrasound, the baby is fine”

Jiang Cheng couldn’t help but stare at the screen once more, tissues in his hand, his nerves had long settled and he was now more sure then before,

He would raise this child and make it feel loved and cherished so that it would never feel the way he had, that was a promise.

“Can I get a photo of the ultrasound?” he asked timidly after he had calmed down, Dr.Wen smiled back at him nodding, “Of course, how many copies?”

“Just two” one for himself and one for Lan Xi-no, one for his family.

He walked out with three photos in hand, and a lighter heart, he wasn’t going to allow himself to wallow in the pain, he was better than that.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this little snippet of what's to come, by the way comment, kudos and bookmark if you'd like if not well thanks for reading anyway.


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